Saturday Night Live

E1

Ben Affleck/Nelly

Live From New York (and opening the 30th season of SNL), it's...Chris Parnell Sketches include ""First Presidential Debate 2004,"" ""Dr. Porkenheimer's Boner Juice,"" ""Debbie Downer,"" ""Swift Veterans for Truth,"" ""Kerry Campaign Stop,"" ""The Escalator,"" ""Obnoxious Wedding DJ,"" and ""Kitty Kelley's 'The Family.'"" Nelly performs: ""My Place"" and ""Na-Nana-Na"" The Dr. Porkenheimer fake commercial is not shown in the 11/27/04 NBC rerun.

E2

Queen Latifah

Live From New York, it's...Darrell Hammond Sketches include ""Hardball"", ""Sky Captain Filming"", ""Dyson Toilets"", ""The Ninth Presidential Debate"", ""Paris Hilton Apologizes"", ""President Bush and Tony Blair"", ""Apprentice Halloween Episode Commercial Taping"", ""Jane Eyre"", ""Bear City: The Fender Bender"", ""The Adventures of Peter O'Toole and Michael Caine"", and ""Bear City: Getting Fired"". Ashlee Simpson sings ""Pieces of Me"" (refer to Notes to see what happened to her on her second performance).

E3

Jude Law/Ashlee Simpson

Live From New York, it's...Jim Downey translating for Seth Meyers Sketches include: NBC Special Report, Rap Night, Mrs. Dr. Frankenstein, TV Funhouse: John McCain's Speech, Clinton and Kerry, Kaitlin at the Mall, Goodwin Wig and Toy, and Election Map Colors Eminem performs: ""Mosh"" and ""Just Lose It""

E4

Kate Winslet/Eminem

Live From New York, it's...Will Forte Sketches include: Kerry at the Beach, Star Jones' Wedding Night, You Call This A House Do Ya?, Dr. Porkenheimer's Boner Juice (repeat from the Ben Affleck/Nelly episode with slight edit*). The Giant Parrot, Wake Up San Diego, Appalachian Emergency Room, and The Drug Sniffing Dog. Modest Mouse performs: ""Float On"" and ""Ocean Breathes Salty"" *The Dr. Porkenheimer commercial repeats in this episode, but the ending where it shows Rob Riggle with an exaggerated erection (covered by the bedsheets) is replaced with a scene where Poehler and Riggle are hugging.

E5

Liam Neeson/Modest Mouse

Sketches include: ""C-SPAN Terrorist Alert,"" ""Woomba,"" ""Pranksters,"" ""A 'Blue' Christmas"" (cartoon), ""The Undercover Cop,"" ""Prince Christmas Special,"" ""Apprentice Christmas Promo,"" ""Bear City: The Carolers,"" ""Christmas With The Cat Lady,"" and Horatio sings with The Muppets. Destiny's Child performed ""Soldier"" and ""Cater 2 U.""

E6

Luke Wilson/U2

Live From New York, it's...Darrell Hammond Sketches include: CNN Press Conference, Trucker Talk, Beaver Ranch Brothel, Hardball, Black Paramedics, Noony and Nuni, and The Not So Great Adventures of the Down and Out Dollar

E7

Colin Farrell/Scissor Sisters

Live From New York, it's...Tina Fey and Amy Poehler! Sketches include: ""The Bush Twins"", ""Condelezza Rice's Hearing"", ""Gaystrogen"" (from season 29), ""Paul Giamatti's Limo Driver"", ""Kaitlin's Karaoke Machine"", ""TVLand: The Lundsford Twins Feel Good Variety Hour"", ""Andy at Reinhold Investments"", ""Spy Glass"", and ""Giant Cat."" Ludacris and Sum 41 perform ""Get Back""; Ludacris performs ""Number One Spot.""

E8

Robert De Niro/Destiny's Child

Live from New York, it's...Rachel Dratch Sketches include: American Idol, CheapKids.Net Ad 1, Versace Skiing, Starkisha and Portia at the Purse Shop, CheapKids.Net Ad 2, Exclusive Connections, Donald Trump's New Wife, Merv The Perv, CheapKids.Net Ad 3, Rafael Alonzo's I.T.F. Technical Computer Institute, Inside Barbie Dreamhouse, The Bar, and Bear City: Cigarette Shopping Keane performs: ""Somewhere Only We Know"" and ""Everybody's Changing""

E9

Topher Grace/The Killers

Live from New York, it's... Horatio Sanz Sketches include ""Kim Jong Il,"" ""me-Harmony.com,"" ""Monkeys Throwing Poop at Celebrities,"" ""Black History Month,"" ""The Best of TT and Mario,"" ""Subway Beggers,"" ""Gays in Space,"" ""Gibson Studios,"" ""Rap Night with Chubb Hotty,"" and ""Public Speech Class.""

E10

Paul Giamatti/Ludacris & Sum 41

Live from New York, it's... Amy Poehler! Sketches include ""Neverland Ranch,"" ""Grayson-Moorhead Investments,"" ""Sheila Choad's LA Face,"" ""Hot Plates,"" ""Debbie Downer at the Oscars,"" ""Seasons of Love,"" ""City Court with Aaron Neville,"" ""After the Grammys,"" and ""Project Runway."" 50 Cent (featuring Olivia) performed ""Candy Shop"" and later performed ""Disco Inferno.""

E11

Paris Hilton/Keane

Live from New York, it's...Rachel Dratch Sketches include: American Idol, CheapKids.Net Ad 1, Versace Skiing, Starkisha and Portia at the Purse Shop, CheapKids.Net Ad 2, Exclusive Connections, Donald Trump's New Wife, Merv The Perv, CheapKids.Net Ad 3, Rafael Alonzo's I.T.F. Technical Computer Institute, Inside Barbie Dreamhouse, The Bar, and Bear City: Cigarette Shopping Keane performs: ""Somewhere Only We Know"" and ""Everybody's Changing""

E12

Jason Bateman/Kelly Clarkson

Live From New York, it's...Darrell Hammond Sketches include: Hardball, meharmony.com (repeat from the Jason Bateman/Kelly Clarkson episode), Oprah, The Push-Up Contest, Kevin Federline, Gays In Space, Guest Preacher, Action News 13, and Nebulzitol Gwen Stefani (with Eve) performs ""Rich Girl"" and ""Holla Back Girl""

E13

Hilary Swank/50 Cent

Sketches include ""Papal Debate '05,"" ""Extreme Makeover: Home Edition,"" ""Michael Jackson"" (cartoon), ""The Barry Gibb Talk Show,"" ""One-Star Hotel,"" ""Woo! The Musical,"" ""Sofa Warehouse,"" and ""Spy Glass."" Green Day performed ""Boulevard of Broken Dreams"" and ""Holiday.""

E14

David Spade/Jack Johnson

Live from New York, it's...Chris Parnell Sketches include: A Message From Tom DeLay, Dr. Porkenheimer's Boner Juice (re-edited and using the alternate ending from the Liam Neeson/Modest Mouse episode), The Bad Thrower, The Falconer, Tom Brady's Falafel House, Behind The Music: The Super Bowl Shuffle, Dr. Phil, and Backstage SNL: The Quarterbacks

E15

Ashton Kutcher/Gwen Stefani

Live From New York, it's...Paula Abdul Sketches include: ""Primetime Live: The American Idol Scandal,"" ""Sally & Dan Harrison: The Couple That Should Be Divorced,"" ""Donald Trump's Domino's Ad,"" ""Versace Mother's Day,"" ""Channel 5 Late Night Movie,"" ""Mother's Day Brunch,"" ""Helping Hands Telethon,"" ""Merv the Perv,"" ""Action News,"" ""Bear City"" (film), and ""You Might Be A Gay Redneck If..."" System of a Down perform: ""B.Y.O.B"" and ""Aerials""

E16

Cameron Diaz/Green Day

Live From New York, It's... Darrell Hammond (yet again) Sketches include ""Hardball,"" ""America's Next Top Model,"" ""Monster-In-Law Screening,"" ""The Prince Show,"" ""Little Italy,"" ""The Ride Home,"" and ""Bear City"" (film). Coldplay performed ""Speed of Sound"" and ""Fix You.""

E17

Tom Brady/Beck

Live from New York, it's...Chris Parnell Sketches include: A Message From Tom DeLay, Dr. Porkenheimer's Boner Juice (re-edited and using the alternate ending from the Liam Neeson/Modest Mouse episode), The Bad Thrower, The Falconer, Tom Brady's Falafel House, Behind The Music: The Super Bowl Shuffle, Dr. Phil, and Backstage SNL: The Quarterbacks

E18

Johnny Knoxville/System of a Down

Live From New York, it's...Paula Abdul Sketches include: ""Primetime Live: The American Idol Scandal,"" ""Sally & Dan Harrison: The Couple That Should Be Divorced,"" ""Donald Trump's Domino's Ad,"" ""Versace Mother's Day,"" ""Channel 5 Late Night Movie,"" ""Mother's Day Brunch,"" ""Helping Hands Telethon,"" ""Merv the Perv,"" ""Action News,"" ""Bear City"" (film), and ""You Might Be A Gay Redneck If..."" System of a Down perform: ""B.Y.O.B"" and ""Aerials""

E19

Will Ferrell/Queens of the Stone Age

Sketches include ""Will Backstage,"" ""Celebrity Jeopardy,"" ""Oracle Conclave,"" ""Going 2 C Movies,"" and ""Luxury Spy.""

E20

Lindsay Lohan/Coldplay

Live From New York, It's... Darrell Hammond (yet again) Sketches include ""Hardball,"" ""America's Next Top Model,"" ""Monster-In-Law Screening,"" ""The Prince Show,"" ""Little Italy,"" ""The Ride Home,"" and ""Bear City"" (film). Coldplay performed ""Speed of Sound"" and ""Fix You.""